Grief
by notmariah7
Summary: I wrote another sad Hamilton story. This is it. Someone is dead. Hopefully you don't cry.


**I got bored so I wrote this. Have fun.**

John was dead. That was it. Nothing complicated about it.

Alex had found a letter outside his door one morning, and after reading one line, he ran to John's room and pounded on the door, screaming to be let in. Hercules and Lafayette woke up from the noise and came running, since the four of them shared an apartment. When they finally broke through the door, they froze.

There lay John, on the floor. His eyes were closed and a faint smile was on his face. He appeared to be in a peaceful slumber, besides the fact that he was no longer breathing.

Hercules had to look away to keep from vomiting at the sight of all the blood.

Alexander screamed and cried, falling to his knees next to John. Lafayette couldn't move, and was stuck staring as Alexander grabbed at John's shirt, begging him to come back, praying that this isn't happening.

Hercules left the room to call for help.

Now it was two weeks later, and grief hung heavy in the air. The three of them were dealing with the loss differently.

Hercules was quiet most of the time, usually thinking over things. Otherwise, he was still functioning well. The same couldn't be said for his friends.

Alex had gotten irritable and depressed. He got into more fights at school, most of them physical. Sometimes he would lock himself in his room, working for days on end, but sometimes he had immense trouble writing one page in a week. He refused to sleep or eat most days, and the amount of showers he had had were few and far between.

Lafayette...well, Lafayette was doing worse, in a way. He was having trouble remembering to do things like his homework, change clothes, or bring his phone and keys whenever he went places. Most of the time, he was oddly happy, acting as if nothing had happened. He would stare into space for long swaths of time, and he would walk and talk in a daze. He had begun sleepwalking, as well. But the worst occurred one sunny morning.

"Boys!" Lafayette sing-songed, prancing around the kitchen. "Breakfast is almost ready!" No one came out of their rooms for a long while, but Hercules eventually opened his door and made his way to the kitchen. "Good morning, Hercules!" Herc raised an eyebrow.

"You're cheerful this morning," Hercules said. Lafayette giggled.

"What is there not to be cheerful about?" Before Hercules could answer, Lafayette went on, "I am making cinnamon pancakes for breakfast." He smiled as Hercules stepped up to him and sighed.

"Laf, you turned the wrong burner on." Lafayette blinked and looked down, finding that Hercules was right. He moved the pan over to the lit burner so the pancake batter would actually cook. Speaking of, Hercules found the bowl of batter on the counter, a small spice bottle next to it. The batter was full of small white chunks and the spice wasn't cinnamon. "Laf...there's a lot of eggshells in here, and this is cayenne pepper." Lafayette's movements halted, apart from one of his eyes twitching slightly.

"Oh." Hercules gently led Lafayette away from the stove, turning it off. "I suppose this is what I get for attempting to cook while I am tired. Maybe John could make something for us..." Herc's breath hitched.

"Wh-What?" But Lafayette was already heading towards John's room. He knocked on the door, getting no response, of course.

"John, time to get up," Lafayette called out to no one. "You can't sleep forever."

"Laf...he-he isn't in there." Lafayette turned to Hercules in confusion.

"What do you mean? He was here just last night." Hercules tried to grab Lafayette's arm, but he was knocking on the door again. "John, come on. It is already 9:30." Alexander's door opened quickly, and Alex glared at Lafayette from across the hall.

"What the hell are you doing?" Alex asked.

"I am trying to wake John-"

"Are you joking right now?" Alexander stepped forward angrily.

"What-"

"You have got to be kidding me." Alex laughed bitterly.

"What are you-"

"Do you think this is fucking funny?"

Hercules tried to interrupt. "Alex, calm down-"

"Do neither of you care? John is dead and you're making a joke out of it!"

"What-What do you mean?" Lafayette asked, placing his hand on the doorknob behind him. "John is just fine, is he not?" Fire burned in Alexander's eyes.

"You son of a bitch!" Alex launched forward, shoving Lafayette back against the door. Lafayette shouted in surprise, then accidentally opened the door and fell backwards and onto the floor. He covered his face with his arms while Alex punched him, releasing his rage. Hercules was shouting at Alex to stop, but when that didn't work, he lifted Alex off of Lafayette and pulled him back. Alexander was still swinging, attempting to get out of Herc's grasp. When he failed, he collapsed against Hercules' chest and cried in a mixture of anger and sadness.

"Je-Je suis désolé..." Lafayette whispered. "Je-I-I don't...understand..." He glanced around the room. "Where is..." His eyes landed on a bloodstain that no one could stand cleaning yet. "Oh...r-right... J-Je suis deśolé." Lafayette stood and hurried out of the room, hiding his tears.

When Lafayette had left the room, Alex began to speak through his cries. "How could he-how could he do that?"

"I-I think Lafayette's brain just doesn't want to remember-"

"Why would he do that to us?"

"You're talking about John, aren't you?"

"Don't you get it? John is dead. _He is dead._ He killed himself and it's all our fault."

"Alex-" Alexander pushed himself away from Hercules, shaking.

"It is! It's our fault! It's all my fault! Don't you understand that? We could've-I should have-"

"Alex, please, calm down. You didn't do anything-"

"Exactly! We should have done something."

"What could we have-"

"Anything! Something! But we just...sat there, letting him get worse and worse. I was always so focused on something else that I never..." Alexander's face reddened with fury as he looked up at Hercules. "Why didn't you do anything?"

"I-What?" Hercules stammered.

"God, you're such an asshole!" Alex shoved Hercules before storming back to his room and slamming his door.

Hercules sighed, rubbing his eyes. He left the room, softly closing the door behind him. He slowly walked down the hall, back into the kitchen, where he saw that Lafayette had resumed making his pancakes. Lafayette's cheeks were still slightly wet, but he was smiling again.

"Good morning, Hercules!"

"Morning," Herc mumbled, sitting down and putting his face in his hands.

"What is wrong with Alexander? He seemed upset, non?"

"Y-Yeah...he'll-he'll be okay." Hercules' voice cracked, but Lafayette didn't notice.

"It is lovely outside today. Maybe the four of us can go around town later."

"Yeah...maybe..."

"Wonderful. I think it would be good to get John outside, too. He's been so down lately."

"He-He has, hasn't he?"

"I am sure he will be alright."

"Do you?"

"Oui, everything will be just fine."


End file.
